Forming a Christian Family (despite not having all the explicit directions from the Bible that we might like to have)

Our faculty and student small groups used this piece for discussion. We had good conversations, and I hope it can be helpful beyond our campus.

The New Testament does not offer as much direct guidance for family life as we might like. Passages that teach about the life of the church, and how believers are to live in unity with one another, may have as much to tell us about our life as Christian families as those few passages that deal directly and explicitly with family life.

When the New Testament was being written, those who wrote it were preoccupied with the meaning of the gospel, the nature of discipleship, and the welfare of new congregations of believers. The New Testament was written so early in Christian history that the biblical writers may have barely begun to give thought to what it means to have a Christian home and to live as Christian families. That may be why it’s hard to find many passages that deal explicitly and directly with our life as Christian families. The New Testament does confirm certain teachings from the Old Testament, such as reserving sexual relations for marriage. And we find specific guidance now and then, as when Ephesians tells husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church (Eph. 5:25). However, as a whole, family life was not at the forefront of thought for those who wrote our New Testament. Because of this reality, when we turn our attention to Scripture for the formation of our families as Christian families, we have to exercise extra thoughtfulness.

Yet the truth is that the New Testament does give us plenty of guidance for forming Christian families, if we consider that the Christian home is a place of Christian fellowship and that a Christian family is a small piece of the body of Christ. In a Christian home we carry out our life of discipleship in a very close and personal way with other believers. When we realize these things, we can realize also that passages of Scripture that teach believers to live out the Christian life in fellowship with one another implicitly have much to say about life as a Christian family. Passages that teach believers to grow together as disciples fill the pages of Scripture. While the passages of Scripture that deal explicitly with family life may be limited, passages which teach Christians how to live in unity and grow together in Christ are plentiful.

So, today we are going to look at the passage that may be the poetic height of the apostle Paul’s writing on relationships between believers. It is safe to say that Paul was not thinking about family life or marriage when he wrote 1 Corinthians 13. He was thinking of helping the body of Christ in Corinth to get along with one another, and not harm each other, as they learned to use their spiritual gifts to build up their congregation. However, since Christian families are also small pieces of the body of Christ, what Paul said about love between believers in the body of Christ also speaks depths of wisdom about creating a Christian home.

Questions for Study and Discussion of 1 Corinthians 13

Let’s read 1 Corinthians 13:1-13 for the purpose of what these verses might speak to us regarding Christian family life.

1. In verses 1-3, love is a standard to measure the value and contribution that we add to the church. What would it look like to use these verses as a standard to measure what we as parents, spouses, brothers, sisters, and children offer to our families?

(1 Corinthians 13:1-3 If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.)

2. Why might Paul have said in verse 13 that “the greatest of these is love”? Why would he elevate love over hope and faith?

(1 Corinthians 13:13 And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.)

3. How do verses 4-8a describe love? Can you summarize?

(1 Corinthians 13:4-8  Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. 7 It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never ends.)

4. What do these qualities look like when they’re expressed concretely in family life? And what would be the result if these qualities were present and increasing?

5. Are there parts of Paul’s description of love that were very present as you grew up in your own family as a child? Were there parts that seemed to be lacking?

6. What parts of the description of love are difficult or most challenging for your family now?

7. What habits or practices have you found to be helpful for cultivating love in your family? What ideas can you share that might help other families?

8. How can we pray for one another’s families today?